Trusting in God is not easy at first, but as you continue your journey with him, he will allow certain situations to happen to you to show you that he is always right there with you. That journey of trust for me began in August of 2021. Being obedient to God is very important. You may not see why you are doing what you're doing now, but later at the end is when He will reveal to you why you had to go through certain situations. For me, it was the beginning of the school year, and God had told me that I would be living in my own apartment alone. That for me was exciting, but at the same time looking at my finances, I didn't have the budget for it. As always, God said not to worry. So, I stood in faith and I started searching for apartments. I looked through various apartments and only one stood out to me. I gave the apartment a call multiple times and eventually I set an appointment to go see the apartment. My parents and I drove down and took a tour of different units and the one I saw online was the one I heard to get. We toured the one I heard was it and IT WAS IT. I knew right then and there as I stepped inside that this was the apartment for me. It was PERFECT. After talking with my parents, I submitted an application and got accepted!
Now that I have secured my own apartment, I am now trusting God on how it's going to get paid. I had no clue what I was doing at this point, all I know is that I moved into a beautiful apartment that was way out of my budget at $1,120. I also had to pay for a parking garage which is $178 a month. So in total, just for my apartment and parking garage, it's $1,298. On top of that, I have to pay for my car which is $370 a month. So yeah, I'm speechless right now, but I know God's got me. With the money I had saved up, I had enough for everything for the first two or three months, after that, I had no clue how the rest was going to get paid. Now you may be thinking "Why aren't you working," to answer that God said not to and to do Instacart and DoorDash instead. Why you ask, well I had no clue why until a little later.
The first month goes by and everything is good and paid for. The second month went by and that's when my first big lesson came and I made a mistake. What happened was that I was trying to sell my Apple Watch to get some extra money. I posted this listing on Poshmark and Facebook Marketplace which is something I have never used before. As you all may know, there are lots of scammers when it comes to Facebook. At that time, I knew that but didn't know how to watch out for them. In summary, I thought the person I was going to sell my Apple Watch to was legit. So, I ended up losing $1,300. Now, this is at the point where my bank account now says $1,000 or under (I can't remember). A story on how I got scammed will be for another time, but the whole process of getting scammed and talking to my parents about it was so stressful that it put me in a state of mind I never thought I'd be in. I was upset with myself, I hated myself, and I was just angry that I fell for the scammer and made a huge mistake that actually affected me big time. I didn't know how I was going to pay my rent. I only had enough to pay for my car and use my credit cards to pay for everything else. No one who saw me in person knew this was happening to me because I always put up a front of being happy, but when it came to coming home I cried myself to sleep multiple times. I lost faith, I doubted, I worried, wasn't sure if I was hearing God correctly, and I just wanted to give up. Then one day my aunt mentioned these COVID-19 rent relief programs that I could apply to. So, I did my research and asked God which ones to apply to and did so. Now, this is when God needed me to trust and believe that he would take care of the rest of my rent and I would be living rent-free. Of course, at that time, I had so little faith and didn't think it'd be possible. But God kept reminding me of how anything is possible and to remember what he did for my car.
With these programs that help renters, it does take a long time because it is a very long process which means lots of waiting and that was one of God's lessons for me. Some days I kept my head up high and other days not so much. I continued doing my studies at school and DoorDash as much as I could to get some more income flowing in. It was a lot of work at first, but in order to get groceries, pay for gas, and pay for my car, I needed to work. Thankfully, my landlord was nice to understand my situation and she knows the process of these programs. Each month from the program I applied to, I got declined. I was worrying, but I just heard to keep reapplying. I didn't know how much longer I could hold onto my faith in God because there were times when I asked myself if God was even real. That's when I knew this was the enemy talking. He is using my situation and finances to bring me down. I was at a point where my bank account was in the negatives and I didn't know what to do. Then, God showed me a program at my school that actually helps students like me and they reward you $500. I was so thankful to have received this because I had no clue how I was going to eat. Basically, at this point, I was a "broke college student" living a luxurious life on $500. I say luxurious life because I lived in a modern apartment in the city. With this reward I was given, it gave me a little more faith and I started worshipping God more, reading my bible more, and really just doing my best to lean on God. As I waited for the program, I finally received an email asking for a checklist of documents they requested. I went ahead and did as asked then a week later... I GOT ACCEPTED! This was right before my birthday too :) I prayed to God each night of December that the only gift I asked for was for my apartment to be paid off. Then I received the email and was rewarded $5,572.26 which PAID for the first half of my rent. I was in awe because even though I doubted God, He still showed me that I am His daughter and that He will always be there to provide for me.
Now, it's 2022 and I still have the other half of my rent that I need to pay, but I did make a mistake in December... I applied to two programs to help me, and they both accepted at pretty much the same time. The part where I made a mistake was that I did not follow up with the other program because then I started worrying about whether or not my landlord would have accepted it and if that program would actually help me since I also worked with another program. Basically, Caitlyn worried too much, and she did what SHE thought was best, and not what GOD said. My number 1 mistake was being disobedient. Again, I was upset with myself, I tried handling things myself, I doubted, and I worried. Everything for my rent was clear, until March and that's when I needed to figure it out again. My other mistake was thinking I needed to figure it out when really I needed to let go and give it to God and ask Him for the strategies needed.
I was DoorDashing one day and I thought I was delivering to a restaurant with the order I had, but it ended up being that I actually needed to pick up an order from this place, and that made the employee and I both laugh to where he asked if I needed a job. The funny thing is, God recently told me to stop DoorDashing and find a job. I took it to God and went back and forth and He told me to take it. I went in for my interview and got hired! Although I didn't get paid the amount I was hoping for, God said to not worry about it and to just do it. Little did I know that while working here God was using me to help the employees and owner. Not only was I there for a purpose, but He gave me a strategy on how to pay off my credit cards that I had built up being financially burdened. I was in awe of how awesome God is, but I also kept asking how my rent was going to get paid because this was not close enough. As always, He said not to worry. Again, I am so thankful to my landlord for being so patient with me, but it came to a point where I got a 3-day notice on the second-to-last month of my lease. I started freaking out and went to the program's office in person to tell them of my situation. Both offices said they could not do anything to move up the applicants so I had to wait. Although I was freaking out, I also felt like everything was going to be okay. So, I applied to the other program again on July 12th. They normally respond faster, so I waited it out. My landlord told me I have until August 12th to pay my rent or I will be evicted. I told her not a problem. Then, I went to God and I was like what do I do??????!!!! He said "Wait," and now I have to wait and trust in God. He did it before and I know He'll do it again. It is now August 9th and I still have no answer from either program. I asked God what to do and He said to just pay it because when I do get accepted by the program they can pay for the future months for me. The fact that I had enough after working so much to pay my late rent was awesome, but if I did that I'd be back to square one again. I didn't let that stop me so I was obedient to God and did as I was told on August 10th. I opened my rent portal and put in my card information, after I hit submit, it said there was an error and I couldn't log back in. I called the leasing office and apparently, management just changed so they're getting things settled. They told me things would be up and running in 1 to 2 days and the second day was the 12th which is the day I am supposed to be evicted. Once that second day came around, that was the day the program ACCEPTED ME AND REWARDED ME $8,240 which is DOUBLE that the other program I applied to accepted me in December. When I tell you I was in SHOCK, I WAS IN AWE, I WAS SO SHOCKED, but I knew that it was coming.
All in all, I didn't tell you all the situations God had me go through, but when I tell you I went through a lot during this process, trust me, I did. I went from having enough money to getting scammed, to being in the negatives, then to having more than enough. I am so thankful and just to see my own growth from last August to this August is AMAZING. I learned the hard way of trusting God; if I didn't go through what I went through, I wouldn't know how to trust in God. I wouldn't have learned these lessons the way I did and I am thanking God for these experiences every day. Yeah, the situations I went through were TERRIBLE, leaving me on the edge of my seat, but it was all WORTH IT. The fact that I literally had $100 or less in my bank account, even in the negatives, but still was able to eat, have a roof over my head, and pay for my car and gas is mind-boggling. I don't know how that's possible, but it is when you have God. God is my provider and He always will be. He keeps elevating me each season and he continues to fill me with knowledge every day and it's amazing. It truly is. From now on, I will actually trust in God will all my heart because if He can pull this off, who knows what else He can do. All I have to say is that yeah, I told you my story, but when you build your relationship with God and actually get to know Him one-on-one, your life is going to change. I have no clue how I came up with the words to try to tell you my story because that's not even half of what has happened this past year. There are no words to describe God's Glory. The only way to discover it is for you to give it a try for yourself. "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" Matthew 6:26